We had the good fortune of connecting with Dr. Hareder Mcdowell and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Dr. Hareder, can you walk us through the thought-process of starting your business?
My thought process was simple, I knew their was a void as it related to understanding how and why Black women didn’t communicate about sex and I only had to ask myself if I had the audacity to try to fill it. I am a firm believer in my mothers favorite mantra, “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”, so I told God that I was ready. I did not have a ten-year plan, a logical business model, nor a myriad of coaches and teachers because I was going down a path that was previously beaten. I wanted to know why I had so much sexual freedom and openness, which lead to confidence of self that leveraged great intimate, sexual and marital experiences, but so many of my elders, counterparts and friends do not. I knew that I needed training to research our community and ask why we did not talk about sex and all of the things connected to it, and why there was so much shame and judgement surrounding anything sexual. I wondered why Black women, were left out of the research regarding orgasms, pleasure and love and why our state of being regarding sex was so locked into reproduction only. I wondered why the Black church did not have sexual advocacy like that advocated for everything else. I saw the data reflect that on in three Black girls/women were and will be raped, and abused by an intimate partner or that our girls are being trafficked at alarming numbers and suffering from sexually transmitted infections and unplanned and unwanted pregnancies in a country that no longer grants them choice; but we are still making a conscience choice not to talk about sex as prevention. All of these thoughts led me to become a trained researcher. Once I obtained my PhD in community psychology I wanted to understand our pathology with sex and how we arrived at this quiet place and determine what I could do to ring the alarm first in Chicago and then abroad. I started a nonprofit organization P.R.E.T.T.Y INC. that allowed me to partner with Chicago Public Schools to provide comprehensive sexual communication tools based on a curriculum that I wrote. Since our start in 2015 we have served almost two-thousand girls of color. I needed to create a quick conversation guide that I hoped would open up conversations for Black women and girls, specifically mother-daughter pairs, to discuss sex and identity. This tool kit was written in anthology from and I called it “Black Women, Sex and the Lies Our Mothers told Us.” This books sits as Amazons top 21 books for Black Women. My consulting firm Dr. Mac Inc. works with other nonprofit organizations providing workshops and outreach to spread the word. We work within the congressional space as advisors to Congresswoman Robin Kelly and the entire congressional team working to create a task force to research Black women and girls under the Bipartisan Protect Black Women and Girls Act and we will launch a camp for Black Girls ages 15-16 in 2025, providing them with a rights of passage experience in to womanhood. My thought process was simple, find the void and fill it.
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
My brand is simply sexual communication as prevention to some of the challenges and responsibilities that are in alignment with being naturally sexually active. I realized quickly that the idea of sexual communication which leads to understanding and open-mindedness and advanced prevention was not something that Black women prioritized, because we are rarely given the freedom, resources or support for actual pleasure and happiness surrounding sexuality. Many of us have had sex without ever being coached, or spoken to by a parent, and elder or a more experienced Black women. We have been burdened with birthing a nation yet never considered ourselves in the process, Black women just get things done and I wanted us to finally be a part of the pleasure conversations without judgement nor ridicule for wanting sex to be about more than having babies. My companies, teach women about the voids in how we are educated about sexuality and our nonprofit starts with educating girls as young as eleven. Our goal is to provide community based and culturally relevant anecdotes to help Black women understand why the sex talk is important to the survival of our girls against predators, manipulators and abusers, while helping them navigate their natural feelings and choices that will allow them to control their bodies and their sexual futures.
Going into this space was not easy because the word “sex” ignites fear in some Black households for a number of reasons and the code of silence is one that has been ingrained in so many ways, and it has hurt us much more than it has healed us. So deciding to ring the alarm about sex and dive into sexual research, a study that is still in its infancy, was challenging. We often lack funding, have insurance coverage issues, judgement from social, cultural and religious institutions alike. My companies are thought leading and revealing and this comes with push back, but we are prepared. We overcome these challenges by staying committed to the purpose and how our work will shift the direction of entire families.
Today, we are ahead of the me too, Cosby and Epstein curve, because we have been advocates for women and sexual freedom and understanding how much just opening our mouth can save our lives. Our business is about teaching Black women and girls how to use their relationships, culture and family to find their voices and advocate for their authentic selves, unapologetically to ensure that their choices are their own.
I have learned so many lessons on this ten-year path and the biggest one, is Black woman want easier, softer and simpler experiences and we want that for our daughters and our partnerships and who we share our bodies with matter so much more than any education, career path, financial success or title we may hold. I know that the tools provided in my speeches, workshops or one-on-one sessions change minds, therefore change lives. I know for a fact if I shift the thinking of one Black woman, it shifts the thinking of her entire family, which will shift generations.
I am Dr. Mac and my brand is helping Black Women find their words to live more freely and authentically and understand the importance of sexually communication as prevention to the many challenges and responsibilities that attach themselves to sex and intimacy.
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Chicago is one of the best cities in the world for our culture. We have a unique and organic flow to how we socialize and recognize each other and I would not live in any other city. My favorite thing to do is eat and listen to great music and our city never fails me however there is winter time Chi and SUMMER TIME CHI so I will provide a summer agenda. I would first recommend the Sophy Hotel for lodging in Black excellence and if we don’t meet there for breakfast we may head to Truth Italian for a French Toast flight, in the historic Bronzeville community! If it is a Sunday we may stop by Chemistry for a Day party with some of Chicago’s best DJs or ask “Sigma Chris”, the social architect of the city where he is hosting an exclusive curated event at either the WIT rooftop or Chalet, if we are partying on a Sunday. If we decide on a weekday that works as well. If you want a city tour, we have the best and can easily find ourselves on the water at the Black Female Owned dock, Pier 31, which has the best Black Boat Scene in the mid-west where we can charter a yacht and head to the Playpen, the midpoint where boaters gather and play in Lake Michigan. Once back on land we are hungry again and can stop by Haires shrimp or Alice’s BBQ or keep it healthy and visit Aint She Sweet or I can’t believe its not meat back in Hyde Park, where you have to stop by and see where our forever President and First lady once resided, Barak and Michelle Obamas family home. As we make our way to the night life we have so many options but if we need live music and a complete vibe we will stop at TRIBE in the West loop before heading to late night underground spots like LazyBird, Blind Barber or the Bassment. This would be my low-end to river north agenda as each Chicago community has its own vibe and if you had to see the epic far-south side, I would see if Bears Nation was hosting at Visions or if our local celebrity DJs were making an appearance at S2 Grill. If we decided to dine far south and eat the soul of the city we would make a stop at the Soul Food Lounge in Beverly before heading to close out the night because there is nothing to do but sleep after eating at this location. All of this is subject to change if you visit during festival season as we have several.
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
My mother, Sharon L. Coleman gave me a super-power and it is controlling my mind and my voice, as my newest ancestor she is my guiding light. This freedom was fostered under the teachings of Rev. Dr. Johnnie Coleman, an audacious and strong woman who lead the metaphysical teaching space long before its current popularity. I was built by strong and dynamic women, in both of my childhood homes on the south side of Chicago’s 9900 block of Morgan; I thank every elder on that block. I was encouraged and supported in every single endeavor by my mother, my church mothers, aunts, and my Sorority Sisters of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. both my undergraduate and graduate chapters, Zeta Iota and Phi Epsilon Omega Chapters, they trained and polished me more ways than I can mention. My husband is the man of Gods dream for me and there is nothing that I have created or built without his guidance, love, support and partnership, he is the art behind my words & the protector of my peace since we met 21 years ago. I am covered by dynamic men that come in the form of brothers, cousins, fraternal brothers & God brothers. I thank every PRETTY girl that has sat with me and listened to the point of changing their habits that change their futures. All of my sponsors for various projects, I am grateful and thankful. To my babies, Cierra and Ariana, you are the future and the truth and my light, continue to blind me with it. To God be the glory, always and forever.
Website: https://www.haredermcdowell.com/
Instagram: @dr.hmac @ifoundmywords @real.pretty.girls
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/hareder-mcdowell-ph-d-38775070
Facebook: reda mcdowell
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVU8iPXoU34JT4G_by4jjVQ
Other: https://realprettygirls.org/