We had the good fortune of connecting with Jay Saxe and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Jay, what’s the most important thing you’ve done for your children?
I have a 11 yr old, 4 yr old, and 8 month old. So a little over two years ago I chose to actively heal my Past traumas and childhood wounds. My reactions to my eldest daughter and the 4 yr old (at the time 2 yr old) was steeped in control, fear, shame, and guilt. I was so afraid of my own emotions that I stifled theirs. I hovered and controlled because I didn’t have any guidance when I was young, not healthy boundaries, nor control. So it showed up in my parenting and eventually showed up I. The behaviours. I believe kids can only do what they’re shown and it’s necessary for me to show them vulnerability, growth, and a willingness to let life be easy.
I hope this answers the questions
What should our readers know about your business?
So I am a Life Coach / Relationship Specialist, but more specifically, I help courageous women express feelings without shame, put up boundaries without guilt, overcome self-sabotaging behaviors, and heal generational wounds, all so that they can attract the relationships they truly want in their life and feel fulfilled and empowered!
I am excited that I have attracted my tribe, which is women that want to create magic in their lives. I am passionate and so excited to see women shift from disempowered, people-pleasing, feeling exhausted, unheard, and invisible to standing in their power, finding their voice, nurturing the little girl inside of them that feels scared and alone, and becoming empowered by the changes they see themselves making in their life.
I began my business in March 2020. I was fired from my Financial Advisor role at the start of the pandemic. However, it was not because of COVID, but a decision I made after having a severe panic attack. I woke up to how much anxiety I was carrying around with me. It gave me time to reflect and begin the healing process. I then followed my dream of becoming a police officer. I did the trainings, tests, interviews, but didn’t go through. It was not meant to be. I then decided to get into the online space and become a Financial Coach. Again, it wasn’t in alignment with what I was meant to truly do. I then found a mentor, Jim Fortin, who changed my life! I discovered the power of Subconscious Reprogramming and Transformational Coaching. I then became a Mindset Coach for MEN…But my first paying client was a woman. An incredible woman, named Alex Talbot; A powerful single mom, recovering substance abuse user-turned motivational body builder. And I helped to change her life. I was blown away by the impact I made and the changes she made in her already amazing life. From there, I attracted more driven women into my coaching programs; From Masters students, to Cancer survivors, to lawyers, to realtors, to artists and everything in between. It’s been a gratifying journey to say the least.
Was it easy? Heck no. It’s been two years of deep personal growth, set backs, healing, re-discovery, financial stress, problems in my own marriage, and balancing working at home with 2 young kids. But it was worth it and is still worth it. I am working on overcoming these challenges every day. But the deep personal work is how I am managing to overcome. Which means, to look in the mirror, take accountability of my own behaviors, call myself out, make the changes that I preach to my own clients, and have compassion and empathy for myself when times are tough.
The biggest lessons I learned is how much hurt I had in my soul and to LISTEN to what my mind and body was always trying to tell/show me. I had a really difficult childhood full of physical, emotional, mental, and financial trauma. I didn’t realise how much of that I was carrying into my day-to-day life. But with all the tools I have, I’ve managed to heal myself. Only then, have I been able to help others.
I want the world to know that it’s possible to overcome anything. Your past is not who you are. Trauma, hurt, conflict, and pain are all stepping stones to bringing out the best in you. I can say that because I’ve been there. I’ve had nasty break-ups, I’ve had addiction, I’ve had self-harm, self-sabotage, I’ve excelled in a career then lost it all, I’ve hurt people, and I’ve been hurt. This is life. It isn’t always easy to do the healing work, but it is simple; ask for support, do the work, listen to your intrinsic wisdom, and anything then becomes possible for you. My philosophy is that regardless of skin color, religion, childhood, socio-economics, or politics, we are all HUMAN. We are all capable of giving love, empathy, and compassion and we all DESERVE love, empathy, and compassion in return.
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I live in a beautiful pocket of the world called Vancouver Island, near Vancouver in British Columbia Canada. It is a land of rainforests, ocean, mountain, lakes, wildlife, rivers… I would take them to every beach that I’ve wandered and into every forest that I’ve stepped foot into. There’s a really cool city near where I live now. It’s called Victoria, its the capital of British Columbia. It’s a beautiful city full of art, history, culture, and food.
I would have lunch on the parliament lawn (the local government building), which overlooks the downtown waterfront, which is lined with sailboats and tourists. I’d take them to the Museum. And then at night I would drag them in and out of every little pub and bar that plays live music, which is plenty ( I don’t drink mind you, I’m 5 years sober, but I could enjoy the music with a club soda 🙂 ).
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
Amazing question! I first want to recognize my wife, Lily Saxe, because she is the energy that keeps my fire burning, keeps me accountable, and is always brutally honest with me.
Secondly, I have been so touched by all the books of Dr. Gabor Mate. He’s a Canadian doctor that focuses on mental wellness, inner child reconnection, and self compassion to heal our minds and bodies.
I have some amazing support like Jeffrey Vickers from @soberslogans. And to the hundreds of women I’ve coached, who let me in their lives to help them grow and evolve.
Other: Tiktok: @iamjaysaxe