We had the good fortune of connecting with Setra Sundahta and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Setra, as a parent, what do you feel is the most meaningful thing you’ve done for them?
According to my daughter (who is now grown), one of the most important things I did as a parent was letting her work out her own solutions to challenges. Her father and I separated when she was about five years old. He lived close by and would pick her up sometimes to spend the weekend with him. Ordinarily, he’d bring her back on Sunday evening, come inside and give her a big hug goodbye. On one particular evening, as soon as I opened the front door, he turned to walk away, without even saying goodbye to her.
“Aren’t you going to come in and say goodnight,” I asked.
“No,” he answered, “I”m upset with her.”
Well, this was simply unacceptable. Without asking what transpired between them, I marched them both into her room, instructing them to not come back out until they sorted out whatever was going on. They were in the room for about 15 minutes when the door opened and they walked out together. She walked him to the front door and they hugged goodbye as usual. I never asked what happened.
Years later while in high school, my daughter was applying for a program in Prague to become an international negotiator and had to write a paper about her reason. I was very surprised when she wrote that she was so impressed by the way I handled the situation between her and her father, not getting involved and forcing them to work it out themselves, that she decided that’s what she wanted to do for a living. Help people resolve conflicts.
Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
I see art everywhere and apply creativity to everything that I do, even if it’s just preparing a meal, so it’s difficult to single out one thing. But I guess I’m most proud of how I taught myself how to survive and thrive in the world. I hardly ever went to school as a child. My older sister had a baby when I was eleven years old. I was supposed to drop him at the baby sitter on the way to school, but he’d cry so pitifully when I’d drop him off that it broke my heart. So I decided to stay at home with him instead of going to school. When I wasn’t taking care of him, I’d spend my days in the public library instead of going to school, reading as many books as I could. When the librarian caught me in the adult section, she scolded me initially but when I told her about all the books I’d read so far and described what was in each book, she gave me an adult library card. I was in Heaven! I must have read at least five books a week.
I married at a very young age and, before long, found myself on my own having to take care of myself and my offspring. Not having a “proper” education, I bluffed my way into high paying jobs in the corporate world and lived a comfortable life.
When I started having song ideas, I threw myself into songwriting, visited recording studios, asked questions, set up my own home studio and began writing and recording, even though people told me that I’d never make it doing the kind of music I did, I persevered and was offered a few recording contracts, which I turned down, because I wasn’t willing to compromise my principals. The last offer I received was from Columbia Records. I was initially overjoyed, until they started trying to change everything about me. Even though my offer was with the pop division, they decided to release me through urban, which isn’t my lane at all. But they thought all they had to do was put me in a skimpy outfit and throw a rap in the middle of my songs. That didn’t work for me so we parted ways and I produced my albums on my own and made a living performing and selling my music. I probably would have made a lot more money had I accepted that offer, but I would have been miserable.
Life was definitely challenging, and still is, because I do almost everything myself. If I’d signed with a major label, I’d have a producer, an engineer, a mixer, musicians, a marketing team, a tour manager and a whole slew of people helping me. But, because I dance to the beat of a different drum and am such a loner, I wind up doing most things on my own.
Right now, I’m super excited because two of my very good friends have pushed me to start a band, which I only agreed to do because they’ve agreed to be in the band with me. They are both accomplished musicians who have played with so many well known artists, and they’re both great people! Together we’ve been recording new music which I can’t wait to share! It’s so nice to work with people who allow me to be completely be myself artistically!
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
My favorite places in Atlanta are:
1. The High Museum – not only do they have jazz on Fridays and a wonderful selection of art, but they also offer classes. So far I’ve learned poster making, weaving with a loom and fabric painting and dyeing!
2. The Atlanta Zoo – There’s always something going on at the zoo and the decor is constantly changing!
3. The Fox Theater – The acoustics are amazing and one day I hope to perform there!
4. Dekalb Farmers Market – The first time I went to this market, I thought I’d died and gone to food Heaven! My friends call me a food snob, and maybe I am, but I love to cook and eat healthy and delicious food. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and this market has every food one could possibly want, and so much more! They even have prepared foods for when I don’t have time to cook and coffee beans (which they grind for you if you want) from many different countries, an on site bakery, a fresh fish market and fruits and vegetables from all over the world!
5. Birdcage – They have the best lime grilled chicken, fried sweet plantains and crispy sweet potatoes ever! I treat myself to a meal from them a couple of times a month.
6. Ponce Market – Sometimes I go just for the people watching! It’s also a fun place to take friends who are visiting from out of town. Everyone is sure to find something there they like – food, clothing, houseware…
And of course the parks, where there’s always something going on, like dancing or an art festival. Piedmont Park, Grant Park and Freedom Park are the ones closest to me.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I definitely want to give a shoutout to my mother. By general standards, she would not be considered a good mother. She was hardly ever at home, there was never any food in the house, and from the age of about ten years old, I had to find odd jobs to do in the neighborhood to feed and clothe myself. Sometimes I couldn’t gain access to our home and had to sleep on the subway or in the park. However, those experiences made me extremely resilient. Also, she taught me something that you can’t learn in school and that I still use to this day. The power of manifestation. I am who I am today because of her. And, since I really love and like who I am, not something that a lot of people can say about themselves, I have to thank her for that.
I also want to give a shoutout to Frances Hodgson Burnett, author of The LIttle Princess. That book had a major impact on my childhood. As a child, I was always hungry, sometimes homeless, wearing second hand clothing and feeling unloved, much like the main character in the book. The little girl in the book never stooped to the level of her tormentors and was rescued at the end of the book, So when the other kids tried to entice me to use drugs, I refused. When boys wanted me to have sex with them, I refused. I believed that if I did those things I would no longer be worthy of rescue. So even though other kids around me were becoming addicted to drugs and my girl friends (and my sister) were having babies at a very young age, I didn’t succomb because of that book.
Website: https://www.daughterofthesun.com
Instagram: @setrasundaughter