Meet Chikela Singletary | Author & Realtor

We had the good fortune of connecting with Chikela Singletary and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Chikela, how has your perspective on work-life balance evolved over time?
When I was younger, I was what you call a “busy-bee.” I was involved in every club at school, marching band, cheerleading, volunteer/community events, and all the above. When I went to college and even into my earlier career, I was just as busy. In the downtime that I had, I would hang out with friends, but that was rare. I was focused more on accomplishing my personal goals than I was trying to find balance. I was pretty much head-down focused and work life balance wasn’t even something I cared about.

Then, I had a family of my own. It’s crazy because my priorities immediately went from career/personal focused, to family focused. I wanted what was best for my family. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing the moments with my newborn son. I had the opportunity to take a job when I was pregnant, that would have definitely made me over 6 figures by the time I had my son. But, it required me to work every weekend. I had to weigh the pros and cons; and ultimately, the cons outweighed the pros in my opinion. I wouldn’t have been able to spend time with my husband on weekends, I wouldn’t have been able to attend swimming lessons with my son, and all family gatherings were off the table. It was a resounding no.

Work life balance can be difficult if you let it and it looks different for everyone. For me it was declining a job that would’ve made me lots of money for precious moments I will never get back with my son. For a friend of mine, it’s grinding like crazy in this season, so when her baby is born in a few months, she is able to take off half a year to be with him. For a woman I know, it’s staying in her current position (even though she knows she can do more) so she can have the flexibility to be with her granddaughter whenever she wants. For others, it could be simply turning off the cell phone when you get home and spending uninterrupted time with your spouse, being intentional with date nights, letting your weekends be devoted to hanging with friends, etc. etc. The main point here is to not overthink or overcomplicate what work life balance means to you.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
Being an author and a Realtor did not come easy. They both came with some fears that I had to overcome. What I learned from both occasions, is that fear isn’t something that is ever going to go away and never return. It’s always there. But, so is courage. In the moments of fear, I have to choose courage. I have to choose to keep going because the feeling I know I am going to have on the other side of that decision, will far outweigh the fear in that moment.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Admittedly, I am not much of a city girl. But, when I do go into the city there are a few places that are a must. The food spots I have to go to are: Little Rey Al Carbon, Flip Burger, Fox Bros. BBQ, Cafe Bourbon Street, South City Kitchen and Sri Thai. I haven’t had Slutty Vegan yet, but I hear it’s a must have! Of course, you must stop by Amorino, The Yard Milkshake Bar, and Cafe Intermezzo.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
This is a heavy question. There are so many people who deserve the credit for where I currently am in life. The first is my amazing husband, Markan Singletary. From day one he has not only been supportive of everything I do, but he’s also the voice of encouragement for me to do the things I am afraid to do. He reminds me of who I am when I forget. He lifts up my head when I’m having a bad day. But most importantly, he makes me laugh through it all.

I would like to give a shout out to my mother. She has always been there for me, pushing me to be better, and being a cheerleader when I needed one the most. She’s sacrificed so much for me from day one that there’s no way I’d ever be able to repay her. If it wasn’t for her believing in me and all the things I wanted to do growing up, I wouldn’t have the drive and determination I have today. Honestly, she’s the G.O.A.T.

Next is to my best friend, Erin Pike. She was my former supervisor and she taught me the most valuable lesson of all – love others, even the most complicated ones. She’s the reason I care so much for people and I’m not afraid to step into their mess and help them out. We became friends over a conversation of race. She was the first white person to genuinely ask about my experience as a black woman in America and she wanted to know more. She didn’t run away when things were awkward, or heavy, or messy, or just plain hard. She allowed me space to weep in her arms about racial injustice…and she cried with me. She felt my pain. She’s the real MVP.

The final shout out I want to give is to Crystal Hill. She’s someone who took a chance on me and spoke life into me when everyone else chose not to. Her one act of saying ‘yes’ was the catalyst to where I am today. She sparked hope in me–something I had not had in years.

Website: https://chikelas.wixsite.com/mysite

Instagram: @chikelao

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chikelasingletary/