Meet Annelise McCarthy | Women’s Speaking & Confidence Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Annelise McCarthy and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Annelise, what was your thought process behind starting your own business?

As a young girl, I struggled with crippling social anxiety and had a strong lisp – talk about a killer combo. This meant my confidence making friends, speaking to people and being in public was at an all time low. I felt isolated, awkward and embarrassed. I had no idea how to “be cool” or “confident” in front of people. So, my speech pathologist had recommended I start public speaking training to overcome my fears. This led to a 15 year career in public speaking training, competing in national & world championships and inevitably teaching in schools, as I became a certified speech & drama teacher and coached young women in public speaking for 5 years.

On this journey I met many women, young and old, with stories and experiences not too dissimilar to my own. They struggled speaking up, felt awkward in conversation, were uncomfortable expressing emotions, didn’t know how to set boundaries, lacked confidence in their social & professional life, felt fear of judgement on a daily basis and would always hesitate, if not RUN, at the opportunity to speak publicly in front of people.

I started Her Speaking Coach to empower women, not only to become confident communicators in all areas of their life, but to become confident individuals. To adopt self compassion, healthy emotional regulation, boundary setting, positive self talk and the ability to command every room they walk into. To feel worthy and deserving of every opportunity.

So, I guess my “thought process” was that I know what it feels like to be terrified of speaking, to have zero confidence, to hate your looks, to self sabotage, to have imposter syndrome, to compare yourself to others. As a woman, I realised I have an opportunity here, to help other women on their journey to self confidence & self love. I started my business because I realised it would have been incredibly selfish for me not to.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?

Her Speaking Coach is a business that was created to empower all women to become confident and effective communicators. I feel like there is a massive stigma around public speaking. It’s scary, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing, boring and often results in severely overthinking, regretting life decisions and needing a serious glass of wine. With my business, I’m extremely proud of creating a brand that breaks this stigma. A business that makes learning speaking skills inviting, fun, sexy and empowering.

I would love, by the time my work is done, for our global FEAR of public speaking to be a thing of the past. I want this work to be easily accessible and digestible so all women can feel empowered to tackle any speaking gig, tricky conversation, interview, zoom workshop etc. – head on!

With this work, confidence in speaking truly develops from confidence in self. Hence, a huge aspect of my coaching is training your mindset to rewire negative self talk, limiting beliefs, self sabotage and fear of judgement or failure. You HAVE TO be your own best friend on this journey. Girl, if you’re standing up to talk in front of a room full of people and your immediate thoughts before you open your mouth are “I can’t do this”, “why did they ask me”, “sh*t I forgot my opening”, “what if the powerpoint fails”, “what if I’m asked a question I can’t answer” – are you giving yourself the best possible chances for a successful outcome?

Okay, so how did I get to where I am today business-wise? A LOT OF MISTAKES, STRESS, COFFEE AND EXTERNAL HELP!

I am not a self-made success. Yes, I work damn hard and have worked tirelessly for years to become exceptional in my craft and confident to coach and guide others through this journey. However, I had a lot of help.

There’s no roadmap to starting a business. Naively, as someone who completed 5 years of university studying Law & Languages (mandarin), I was almost hoping for homework each week and an assessment each month to make sure I was on the right track. Truthfully, if there is one thing that has served me so far in this business it is TRUST. Trust in myself, trust in outcome, trusting and surrendering to what will be. I had to learn how to surrender control, be okay with not knowing and allow my ego to take a hike. I didn’t, and still don’t, have all the answers on running a successful business. However, I think my love of learning, research and reading has really helped in that!

I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons so far.

1. Set boundaries with your work.
Especially if you’re working from home. God forbid you also love what you do, because have it your way and you’d be working 24/7. You must set boundaries with your hours and commitments to protect your energy and show up as your best self every day. This includes boundaries with social media – I see you!

2. People connect to people, not to businesses.
When running a service based business, it’s really important that your audience feels a sense of genuine connection, trust and rapport with you. You develop this by showing up authentically, vulnerably and being YOU!

3. Invest in YOU
When I first started my business, I got distracted by all the flashy cool things I could purchase to seem more legitimate. Better camera, microphone, lighting, software, website, designs – the list goes on. In reality, I only started noticing true growth in myself, and my business, when I invested in a coach.

4. You will make a lot of mistakes, and that’s okay.
I used to cringe so hard at the people that would glorify mistakes. “it’s how you learn!”. But, a massive lesson I learned very quickly was to surrender perfectionism. I started my business having absolutely no clue what I was doing, so I actually NEEDED to make a lot of mistakes because that’s the only way I figured out what worked and what didn’t.

5. Your worth is not measured in numbers.
Followers, likes, income, emails opened, engagement increased, clicks, comments, shares. Owning an online business with a social media presence, it becomes pretty difficult not to get caught up in numbers. To feel comparison. To feel imposter syndrome. Remind yourself that your WHY is so much bigger than that. About 2 years ago I did 2 things that changed the game for me. Number 1, I unfollowed people/pages that didn’t bring me joy. Number 2, I completely deleted all social media, email, business related notifications from my phone – game changer!!

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Oh I love this question!

Okay, let’s do this.

Day One: Sydney inner west (Newtown, Marrickville). We would get a cute brekkie brunch, go thrift shopping, maybe do an escape room, grab Vietnamese for lunch, walk around and find some cheap drinks and then go see a jazz performance with dinner at Lazy Bones lounge.

Day Two: Heading east to Bronte and Bondi beach. We would spent the whole day walking the coast, swimming, eating fish and chips, grab a beer, explore the markets and drive down to Coogee Pav for cocktails and dinner.

Day Three: We are starting north in Balmoral Beach. We would have brekkie at Boathouse on the beach and go paddle boarding. Then head to Mosman for lunch & window shopping. I would book us a Paint & Sip experience in Neutral Bay in the evening where we would then have Japanese for dinner.

Day Four: Chill day in Sydney CBD. We are exploring Pitt Street Mall, Art Gallery NSW and visiting all the trendy underground eateries & bars.

Day Five – Day Seven: Head up the central coast to Ettalong Beach, stay in an air bnb, cook and play board games and explore the surrounding bush walks and national parks.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Dale. For your unwavering support and always challenging me to be the best version of me. Georgia. For fiercely believing in me and always keeping me grounded.
Sally Prosser. For being there since day one and never failing to be my ultimate cheerleader.
Declan Edwards. For your guidance, selflessness and endless wisdom.

Website: www.herspeakingcoach.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herspeakingcoach/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annelise-mccarthy-b31533142/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herspeakingcoach

Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@herspeakingcoach

Image Credits
Alex Shute Photography Kyle Ingram Photography