Meet Mandii Brown | Mental Health Professional & Creator of Well What Had Happened Was…””

We had the good fortune of connecting with Mandii Brown and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Mandii, we’d love to hear about how you approach risk and risk-taking

Its funny, I have a verse from this poem called “Risk” tattooed on the right side of my body, purposefully, to remember what it meant to take risks in life; even if it was painful.

“To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose your feelings is to risk
exposing your true self
To place your ideal, your dreams before a crowd
is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure
Yet risks must be taken”

I’ve learned regardless what comes my way, or the reservations I may have, TAKE THE RISK. In my life, I have been very “untraditional” in everyway. In college I went to Virginia for school on an academic and sports scholarship and eventually become an “untraditional student” by becoming a parent within my freshmen year. But despite being a young mother, I still wanted the full college experience. So I started completely over and move back to Illinois to work on my Associates from Kishwaukee College. While juggling motherhood with my oldest daughter (at the time) who has mild cerebral palsy; I knew I had a lot against me but I was more than determined to succeed. Regardless of the weather,I would walk her to daycare every morning at 6:30a.m. and catch the bus to campus. She had leg and ankle braces at the time, and I wanted her to have a healthy routine and exercise despite her disability. Thank God for her amazing home daycare teacher, Shawn Hanlon, who allowed her physical therapist and her speech therapist to come weekly, without problem. She even helped me get her into the half-day, early childhood program so she can transition into a “regular” school environment. At 21 years old, I can’t lie, it was pretty rough for me but I wanted to not only support my daughter but support myself and show we can both accomplish anything, no matter the risk. And we did. I graduated Kish an as athlete, an honor society member, a member of Black Student Union, and was accepted into Northern Illinois University; I planned to start that following semester. At NIU, I created a NEW me, while my daughter was thriving at her school. She was reading, climbing, running, and all the things people said she would never accomplish. She was my inspiration to take MORE risks and accomplish my bachelor’s degree. With her by my side, I became apart of the amazing sisterhood of Omega Sweethearts/Pearls, eventually became a member and leader in Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc., and I was apart of the mentor program on campus to help incoming freshmen or transfer students with their college experience. We were attending events side by side on campus and in the community; including protests. I knew being an activist could potentially turn me away from certain opportunities upon graduation, but I believed I needed to fight for our people and our students; all voices needed to be heard.

As life continued, I became a mother again to my youngest daughter, and she was my motivation to ground myself. Being a mother two girls, there was and is, no room for failure. “To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.” I’ve learned I needed to create a village and no longer to appear strong or that I have it all together because in reality, I don’t. I’ve learned that I NEED to depend on others so my children can depend on me.

In my career, I have worn many hats but all have had the same underlying tone: wanting to help and uplift my community and all people. Whether it was with education, resources, or mental health, I wanted to just be that rock. And at each level, I’ve taken risk and encountered a road block each time. “To place your ideal, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.” Every idea I had that aligned with my passion, wasn’t always praised. “You’re paid to do this, this, and this, and go home. Stick to your job.” Telling me not to go above and beyond, has always been a blessing in disguise. Now, it has led me to not only accomplish my master but to be a National Certified Counselor to help ALL people in the way they need.

I currently, not only work with the incarcerated population, but I work with those who are “FREE” but have an “incarcerated mind”. I currently have a website called “Well What Had Happened Was..”. which is a SAFE story-telling website for those who want to tell their truth but to connect to others just like you. Race does not matter because we ALL have a story to tell. Whether its sad, traumatic, joyous, funny, or even just a prayer to spread to others: SHARE IT!

It has been successful thus far with not only having people tell stories and connect, but also connecting people with mental health resources. On daily basis, I get more messages asking for help to connect them with mental health professionals or simply vent for a few moments. This path that I am on has been so fulfilling, I can’t wait to continue to grow as a professional but also the website itself. Whether I get 1 story or 200 stories, I am grateful that people see “WWHHW” as an outlet. I will continue taking risks in my life so other can continue to live theirs to the fullest.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?

I never thought I would be in the position that I am in now. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, and I’ve accomplished that. I have and had fulfillment in it. I worked at a state level as a social worker and I’ve honestly despised it because of the flaws in the system that they never want us to fix. It became overwhelming and discouraging to truly want to help people but can only do so much, and then having to turn those away you can’t help. The more I worked in the community, I realized well we as a people dropped the ball; it starts in the home. I currently work with the incarcerated population of the state’s prison system offering cognitive behavior services and counseling. On the other side, I work with a substance abuse agency offering counseling and case management services. BOTH are equally fulfilling in many ways. I have learned to HEAR the unheard voices in our society and to not let it go unheard anymore. Everyday I walk behind those bars, not in fear, but in love. I tell them daily, that it is not you walking into my space, but me walking into yours but creating a SAFE space within it. Daily, I tell them how valuable they are, how worthy they are, and this mistake in life will not define you and your growth. I remind them they are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and friends; not zoo animals. Being with them daily, is not just a job to me but a privilege because they trust me enough to not only open up to me but to allow me to sit in this newfound SAFE space with them.
I am most proud to hear them run to me saying “I got some sleep last night!”. For those of you who are familiar with drug addictions, know sleep is the last thing on their mind. When I am told they’ve gotten peaceful sleep, edible food, less cravings, or even walking away from altercations, I always JUMP for joy. When my clients tell me that they’ve found the G (Great) in their day, I embrace them. I think our society forgets how easy it is to become addicted to an “outlet” and try to overcome it. Or how easily in our moments of reactions, consequences can arise from it. Or how I like to say it “We are all guilty of doing the same thing, just some of us didn’t get caught.” And it’s true but it does not mean we won’t get dealt with in the end.

It was NOT easy getting to this place professionally. It took a lot of growth on my end and understanding that I feel I didn’t gain until moving to the south. I’ve learned that ignoring your mental health especially amongst the male or religious population is not uncommon, and in many ways causes more damage than good. You can’t just pray your way through the storm, you need to work through it to where God tells you “Okay I got this, be still”. And you must be still. I think my biggest challenge that as a society we do is, don’t judge. We should start working on being more aware of others and when they begin to feel less than. We all matter.

My brands: “The Relatable Counselor” which is who I am professionally. I want it to be known that, regardless of my credentials, I am not above you but I stand WITH YOU. I will help you on your journey, help navigate you in the right direction if I am not competent, and advocate for your needs.

“Well What Had Happened Was..” is my website for ALL. It is a place for you to tell your story but also receive the help that you need. It has links for free services, mental health apps, venting circles for Black Men to connect with others and feel seen, and so much more. I try to update the site weekly with stories and resources. The world is always changing and I want to make sure that I stay aware for those changes. I am just grateful to be in the space that I am in.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?

I wouldn’t be where I am now without “My Tribe/Village”.

A “village” is a connected community of caring individuals who support each other…A village isn’t just a set of friends…it is those friends, neighbors, extended family members, and acquaintances who, whether it’s intentional or even knowing, help deliver us, save us, and also help us to be better parents to our children and vice versa.

I’ve had many “villages” in my life but as one, we are a Tribe. It all began with my “East Coast Village”: The Payne Family and Tamera (My Tam Tam). You all have helped from the first day we’ve found out about Kacey-Lynn. Thank you so much for helping me raise her and adjusting to motherhood, when it was my biggest fear. You all created the SAFE space that I have now in motherhood. And to my east coast tribe that I’ve accumulated over these last 3 years: Derrika & Andrew, my prayer family. Thank you for always showing up without even having to show up. This journey you are on together is amazing and I’m so proud of you..

My “Midwest Village”, the root of it all. My Mothers Maria and Ann, I literally would be so lost without you both. In all my darkest times, your unconditional love has carried me. You’ve carried me through all degrees, certifications, jobs, breakups, rises, downfalls, and so much more. Sierra, my best friend in this life and the next, I couldn’t do life without you. You have been my biggest cheerleader and support system through it all. Deza, you have led me back to God and being spiritually grounded. Your sound advice, love, and spirit has kept me going. Domo J. and Domo W., my babies favorite TT’s; I love you two unconditionally. Thank You for always putting on your capes and coming to our rescues and loving on us. Anthony “Meeko”, thank you for being the girls god father and always being our rock and judgement free. Andre, you are an amazing brother, father,mentor, and true definition of a Nupe; I’m grateful for you and Jas.

My “Southern Village” you all have held it down! I mean held me down like an anchor. From 2020 to the present, Kayla and Warren, I met you all first and we have been stuck like glue, I truly am so grateful for our relationship and the love you all have for ME. You see ME. And that is more than I can ever ask for.

My best friend Jamaal, we are literally two peas in a pod and my biggest motivator. No matter what city you are in, you always make sure I can feel your presence and love like you’re in the living room. Thank you for always riding with me and standing next to me through each failure and accomplishment; couldn’t ask for a truer friend.

Cierra, Ashley, Keyara, and Keosha; my girls. Keosha, my sister, my confidant from BEFORE my official arrival, you have made such an impact on my life, I can never live without you and I am glad I don’t have to. Cierra and Ashley, my riders, you two are ALWAYS there especially for this recent transition in my life. You’ve made it okay to lean and know I’ll be caught. I know I can shed a tear and gain a laugh every time I am with you two; thank you. And Key, who would have thought we would met the way we did… and despite how traumatic it was, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are always true to you and honest bug with love. I adore you sister and glad you’re apart of this village.

My brothers and protectors: Alex, Evan, Jacob, Brandon (BDubb), and Christian; I don’t think I have enough thank you’s in me. You guys, right or wrong/up or down, have always checked me and loved me equally. This year alone, you’ve been there when I needed it the most and as I cry while typing this, I owe more thank you’s.

My adopted sister Allie and Amia, lord knows I have so many biological siblings but he saw it fit to bless me with two more. Sister Sisters, I’m glad to STILL be doing life with you.

And the matriarch for us all: Lawanna McKissack… my godmother. I love you so much. You have created all of this and allow us to be free, move freely, think freely, and love on others freely. Your TRUE unconditional love keeps us grounded and bonded as one. I truly wouldn’t want to do life without you and I am grateful that I don’t.

My Q’s: Shy’Quan, you’ve amazed me since day one. So devoted to your family & friends, your community, and the betterment of all people. Jaquon, you’re going to do great things. Your heart is so big, you brighten up everyone’s day and you’re always there no matter what. I love you both.

Of course I wouldn’t be here without my amazing parents: “womb to tomb, birth to earth”, I love you both dearly. Thank you for always doing the best you can with what you can; good or bad, I’m grateful to be your child.

My Irish Twin, the true sibling that understands me: Kristoff, our Krisby. Our bond without spoken is unbreakable. You get me without having to try. I love you, I appreciate you, and I will never take you for granted.

To my youngest siblings: Reign, Jordan, and Christopher, you three are the game changers in this family. Always stay true to you. Be FEARLESS in every way. Find your passion and stick with it; I’ll always be there to cheer you on. Our parents aren’t prefect but they do not define your future, you do. Do what makes YOU happy. I love you.

My mentors and educators at thee University of West Alabama, thank you for never giving up on me. You have created this new version of me: Fearless but aware so the mistakes I make are not detrimental but worth some of the risks that are being taken. I have learned so much not only about myself but how to approach my community and my designated population with care.

And I would love to recommend and praise the book  “Draw The Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge” by Mark Batterson for my journey. It has challenged me to not only focus on my goals but to focus on God and to be accepting of what he has to offer. This book has kept me driven no matter what has been tossed my way; I have read it multiply times and I always will. And for good measure, I also recommend “To Be A Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power” by Robert Augustus. This book FORCES men to acknowledge and face their unresolved wounds and whatever else is holding you back from full balance and alignment. For sure a GOOD READ.

Website: www.wellwhhw.com

Instagram: @mandii_iman_ @the_relatable_counselor

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-b-0435501a9

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wellwhhw

Image Credits
Brandon Hopkins: Bhopkins Photography