Meet Toni (Ladyy Papa) Manar | Choreographer / Instructor / Motivator

We had the good fortune of connecting with Toni (Ladyy Papa) Manar and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Toni (Ladyy Papa), why did you decide to pursue a creative path?
I pursued an artistic/ creative career because I tried to go down the corporate / 9-5 path and it wasn’t for me. By “I tried to go down that path”, I mean i started with college because I didn’t really have a choice. My parents were not going to have daughters that couldn’t stand on their own two feet and the American way, the way that they didn’t go right into themselves upon adulthood, was the most promising way. That is: go to school and get a degree and then get a job that you need the degree to have to ensure an income that one can live off of. I get it, they wanted what’s best for me, they didn’t t want me to be a loser lol. Here a little insight on how college went so you can understand why it wasn’t what I wanted in the first place and it definitely wasn’t working for me even after I made the honest effort. My first year in college I had to pick a major and I wasn’t even sure what I wanted because I didn’t even want to be in school in the first place. On top of that I Had to decide what I wanted to spend 4-5 years studying even though I didn’t want to study AT ALL or be there. I picked marine biology because I am astonished by the world and life under water. If I had to study something for five years, It definitely couldn’t be freaking psychology or math. SO I get to school and get straight Ds because all I did was party and drink. I wasn’t allowed to party or drink before college so there’s that.
My second year was better but not great. I began to think about other people, like my parents who were supporting me and paying for school. I started to want to finish school to make them proud for one, and to not waste their money for two. They worked so hard, multiple jobs to take care of me and my sister. Now school was for them and for me in the long run, If I ended up actually wanting a job in my field.
The worst part about school was my parents bragging about me being in school for Marine Biology and people asking me what I wanted to do once I finished school and me having no fucking idea. I didn’t have a dream job in the field and I Had NO IDEA where I would even go to look for a job in my field, let alone apply. I also wasn’t going to do an internship that was not paid because I was a broke college kid without a college graduate dream for myself. This is quite the tangent but I feel like the back story helps me get my point across better because I never want to make people think school is bad or school isn’t a good thing to participate in, It just wasn’t. FOR ME and I couldn’t make myself want it for myself so I made myself want it for my parents because they deserved and only wanted it for me to have a good life in the future.
WHY DID I PURSUE AN ARTISTIC CAREEER !!

The answer is because after finishing five long years of school and being forced to physically walk the stage to receive my degree as opposed to getting it in the mail and even having a party to celebrate, I couldn’t Bring myself to search for a job. I was a server and a bartender and I was obsessed with fast money. I didn’t give a shit about making an hourly or salary wage and having paid vacation and personal time off, I wanted to work every damn day and I didn’t care because Where I was working I was making way more than $20 an hour after counting my tips.
I got to the point where I was making so much money I was spending so much money. Not putting it in a savings account and not investing in anything serious. On a night I made good money, I bought myself something nice or went to a bar and ran up a tab. It never got old.
FINALLY one day I came across a professional choreographer dancing on my timeline on instagram and started watching her videos for multiple hours a day. It constantly Brought back the memory of my name being called to the podium in the middle of the basketball stadium during graduation and people chanting my name and cheering. This was supposed to be a happy moment but it made me sad because All the opportunities on the table to be on a dance team or organization of some sort to perform and be cheered for were out the window. I wasn’t t a student anymore. I always felt I could be a dancer and have an audience the size of the graduation audience cheering my name after killing it on the dance floor but it was literally just a silly , Disney Channel- ass fantasy that couldn’t really happen. I never had the time (so I thought) to train and learn how to really dance because school was so hard to keep up with because I DIDNT want to keep up with it, I didn’t even want to be there. I also wasn’t positive of my potential like I am now because I hadn’t given it a real try, so my motivation and drive to dance was trash.
I finally had a man I was living with encourage me to travel to Chicago where my dad’s side of the family was to take class with the choreographer I was constantly watching on instagram and after a weekend of classes and meet – and – greets with her, I was locked in. I was sad because I didn’t kill shit how I wanted to or imagined to , but I was inspired because I was told that I could if I put that work in. Finally I wanted something FOR ME. I didn’t want to do it for my parents to make them proud like it was school, I wanted to get to the point where I was watching videos of me like WOW I KILLED THAT SHIT (this is where I am currently).. This pursuit of a dream I had turned into a career when I started encouraging other people to come dance and train with me. My class at home in Rhode Island skyrocketed to 50’s and 60s In attendance every single week and that’s when I said, this Is what I am going to do with my life.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
My art comes from the heart! Every dance I create is different from the previous one because I get inspired by S O M E. T H I N G before I begin to create. A song I heard reminds me of someone or something , or something happens to me I life that encourages my song choice…. things like that. Every video I put out has a back story. I am different than other dance instructors because I know exactly how it feels to feel out of place and uncomfortable in a dance class. When people come to my class because it looks so fun but get nervous and insecure and just don’t know if they made the right choice by coming in when they dont know the first thing about a dance class, I know exactly how to talk them off that cliff because I was just on that cliff 3 years ago. When I take class, especially in Atlanta, I notice the people teaching the class have been dancing their whole life or close to that amount of time. I just don’t think they can relate to feeling out-of-place in a dance class like I can if they have been dancing for most of their life.

I am so proud of how far I come. The way I danced three years ago when I first started, was very sloppy ad confused and insecure. I cant even watch those videos these days they just make me remember a sad time where I was ashamed of myself (although shame Is pointless, I understand in my head a journey is a journey and cant be one without the beginning). I think I dance so well, and I’m very entertaining and to think I have videos from the past that are cringeworthy just proves to me that If I want It I CAN ACHIEVE IT and so I am not done yet and cant stop now! I am most proud of my confidence. Thats the only thing that has massively increased and that I think made the big difference in my ability to dance. Dancen taught me how to love myself! the right way !

Im excited for where Im going! MOST EXCITED for what my brand is going to do because this inspiration I have cooked up In myself is going to spread in the world ! After seeing what dance has done for myself, I think I can play a part in ending violence! The insecurity I felt at the time I started dancing, while I weighed 210 and had just cut off all of my hair, was so overbearing! it made me jealous of everyone! Im over here in big baggy clothes trying to cover up and limit my movement so not too much stomach comes out and trying not to move my head too much so my fro doesn’t get to looking like a mop while everyone around me is in tights and bikini tops and booty shorts and crop tops, swinging their hair to make sure everyone sees they’re so excited and they just can’t hide it. I think insecurity is the root of violence. If people loved themselves more, they would believe they have more to live for, they’d stay away from certain things. People fight Each other and kill each other and I cant help but think they are not doing enough to keep themselves out off these situations. I think when you really love yourself the right way, you don’t want to put yourself at risk in anyway, you don’t want to disrupt your peace and you don’t want to compromise yourself. No one can make you feel any kind of way because you’re in control of your own feelings and you know what’s going on with you because you took the time to know and love you.

Hell no this ish was not easy. To keep promoting and having class when no one was coming was tough because you had to be consistent and present so people knew where to find you when you were ready but at the same time, when they’re not coming to find you when you need them to, bills still have to get paid. All I knew was to keep going. People used to laugh at my videos because I couldn’t dance at first. With them laughing at my videos I knew it was even less likely that they come to my damn class to learn from this “fish out of water”. I had to keep going because I didn’t want anything else. If I stopped because everyone had said I sucked, I don’t know what I would have done instead. I still didnt want to be a marine biologist so what the hell else was I going to do? I wouldn’t have the videos today to send people to watch. “Go on my instagram and scroll all the way down to my first videos and watch me live in your shoes : a beginner ! and then go watch my most recent video and you measure how far I have come and you decide if you want that for yourself because I didn’t study this walk of life at all, I lived it”. Thats what I say when people try to treat me like a habitual dancer that was just born with the talent and ability to retain and execute choreography. I did uber and door dash on the side to Mae the extra money when I really needed it. I also hopped from one serving job to another not make ends meet. I did whatever I had to do to come up with the money to rent a studio and pay a camera man to film for me.

I have learned to not stop. Stay consistent.. I have learned that more people are watching than you think. I have learned that people notice when you stop quicker than they notice you pushing through, and that is not an advantage it is just an observation. I have learned that strangers will support you before a friend or family will and I have learned to give your flowers and receive them accordingly. Choose who chooses you and don’t let people tell you who you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be inspired by. YOU have to understand your. vision first and foremost or NO ONE else will EVER. It is okay to be the only person who knows what you want and what your intentions are. Follow that shit to the end of the road and supporters will follow you in due time. Do not wait for them because them mother fuckers gonna come. This generation loves them a TREND so go on and set one, baby!

I have learned that you can only depend on you. People can switch up on you and disappoint you at any given time and you cant let them! As long as you never turn your back on yourself, it WILL be alright. I want people to know my closest friends and. family have doubted me and refused to support me and I still got this far! People having bad intentions is not your fault! I have been trolled on the internet to stop teaching and dancing and I didn’t stop and now im filling out a questionnaire for an interview. You will cry and you will consider giving up and that’s okay because you are human but it is not okay to quit because you have a bad day or week. Sometimes there are people following your every move and being inspired by you every day without them telling you and you have to think about them! They need you! its a food chain ! Build yourself and you will build others ! I want people to know you cannot stop me and it’s not just about me, Im going to make sure people around me understand they cant be stopped either. I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF YOU WANT IT, THEN IT IS YOURS TO HAVE!

Most importantly of all, when something hurts, even when it hurts bad, ESPECIALLY when it hurts bad, use that shit to your advantage , Dont sit and hurt for no reason, that pain is inspirati0n for your next masterpiece.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I will say I don’t go a lot of places, but some I would definitely show my sister if she were to come out and drink are

for some daytime fun I would hit the battery and bar hop!!! Live! At the BATTERY is fye to me!
Xperience Sports Bar
Harold’s Chicken & Ice Bar
Boogalou
Chicago Pizza
I LOVE THE FOOD AT LAZY DOG
and when everything closes and Im not done drinking I would definitely go to Doc;s Food & Spirits

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
My parents for letting go of the Marine Biologists I swore to be and accepting the up and coming dancer I pledged to be, my sister Trina for coming to every single class and promoting in the beginning, My class REGULARS who helped me build every single week including BUT NOT LIMITED TO amber, lex, and Betsy

THE BIG THANKYOU If I can only pick one, is the studio who offered me a space at an incredibly affordable price to ensure I could have class every single week even if no one came, Mary Santana down at Naked Foods RI. She accomodated me every single week and never gave me any nonsense and sometimes even dealt with some nonsense to make sure I was set up for success !

Instagram: @ladyy_papa

Twitter: @ladyy_papa

Facebook: Toni Manar

Youtube: Ladyy Papa / Toni Manar

Other: Follow my tik Tok ! @ladyy_papa