We had the good fortune of connecting with Kim Conrey and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Kim, do you have a favorite quote or affirmation?
“Your lack of dedication is an insult to those who believe in you.” The quote has been attributed to several different people, but I think it’s absolutely true. When I was trying to get my first book published, I remember walking past my child’s room, they were maybe eight at the time, and hearing them praying that I would get my book published. Now I have four published and another coming out after the first of the year. Finn is 21 now. Hearing them pray that years ago, carved the mission in stone. Our dreams aren’t just about us. We’re foolish to believe no one is watching. Many futures are influenced by the example we set now, and we don’t have to be parents for that to be true. Go out an prove it can be done and then prove it again. You never know who’s watching.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I first began writing as a way to deal with a tumultuous childhood. You can see that reflected in my urban fantasy, Nicholas Eternal, where child advocacy takes center stage in that story. It’s very loosely based on the time I spent as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate), where I advocated for the needs of children experiencing abuse and neglect. Then in Stealing Ares there are also points of advocacy where my protagonist fights for the welfare of her people, especially for the children on the forgotten colony where she lives. I’m also proud to say that Stealing Ares won Georgia Author of the Year in the Romance category. I’ve also written a memoir about mine and my 21 year old’s struggle with Harm OCD, a form of OCD where the sufferer experiences looping intrusive thoughts of harming themselves or someone else. They aren’t violent people at all, it’s just a form of OCD. The memoir title says it all. You’re Not a Murderer: You Just Have Harm OCD. That was a difficult book to write as I had to revisit some painful moments for me and my child.

None of the writing journey was easy. Ever. Once in a while, someone will hear a story of a writer who pitches a story once and gets signed by a major publisher, but that isn’t the norm. Most writers, really fantastic writers, have a stack of rejection letters a mile high. We even met the agent that rejected the Harry Potter pitch at one of our conferences.

One of the biggest challenges is overcoming the rejections and staying in the race long after the pain sets in deep. I learned from running marathons that it’s all in my head. Sending out query letters to publishers or showing up at conferences and getting rejected is no different, to me at least, than mile 21 of a marathon. I always knew I was going to finish. I might cry my way through the finish line because, at that point, every step hurts, but I’ll be damned if I’ll quit.

The lessons I’ve learned along the way are that rejection serves you well, and it won’t kill you. I’ve also had to learn to trust myself. When I first started getting rejections, I believed everything they said. After a while, I had to learn to discern what advice was worth keeping and what was just someone on a rant. Have I heard this comment from more than one reader, editor, agent? If I have, then I’d be a fool not to listen and consider revisions. If this complaint is a one off, then maybe I should let it go. Opinions come in a wide variety. They aren’t all meant to stick. As I say all the time: this pain of writing and rejections on a loop doesn’t just make us better writers, it makes us better people, if we let it. We can become stronger, more empathetic, more mature human beings. It’s a journey well worth taking.

On a practical level, I used to think that once I got published, I’d reach the promised land and everything would be great! Instead, I arrived to find that you have to hustle to keep your book moving and selling. It’s exhausting. It’s still worth it. In general though, I don’t think most people understand that unless you are Stephen King or Nora Roberts or the like, you have to wake up everyday thinking about new ways to get your book in front of readers, or they won’t see it.

What I’d most like people to know about my brand is if my heart isn’t in it, I won’t bother writing it. No way. So, if you’re reading one of my books, your reading a little piece of my soul, guaranteed.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
First of all, if a friend were visiting my city, they must visit on Dragon Con weekend! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! It isn’t just about the cosplay either, it’s about how kind and accepting everyone is. You can be yourself, in whatever form that may take. We’d check out some panels, stop by the Sidestreet Book Market at America’s Mart where I sell my books during Dragon Con. We’d go to the parade where I march as a Box Hero Wonder Woman. It’s a Wonder Woman costume made out of cardboard. An artist friend of ours makes them. Then we’d hit The Wrecking Bar Brew Pub on Moreland Avenue after the parade and have some amazing food and brews. Sometime during their stay we’d head down to Little Five Points and go shopping at Psycho Sisters and then hit Vortex Burger because, I’m all about good burgers and brews. I’d also take them to the Botanical Gardens. If they show up in June–why they’d want to miss Dragon Con I cannot fathom– we’d go to the Pride Run together. I go every year with my oldest child, they are a proud queer person, and we LOVE the folks at the Pride Run, and we love Piedmont Park!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I’d like to dedicate my shoutout to the Atlanta Writers Club. This organization works tirelessly to help writers learn the craft and business of writing. Way before I became a board member, they were helping me become a better writer through their conferences, critique groups, and monthly meetings. I’ve made some of the best friends of my life there, met my husband there, and know without a shadow of a doubt, that my writing would be nowhere near where it is today without this organization. In particular, I want to thank George Weinstein for the countless hours he’s put into this club. Long before I married him, it seemed like he was constantly giving to the club to make it better. Now I know just how much.

Website: https://kimconrey.com/ and https://harmocdkimconrey.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ares_ascending/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kimconrey

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094685656889

Other: Wild Women Who Write Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5aKisYepeDIOYWBLL7yGZ7?si=8d76e3a335cb48c9

Image Credits
Main author headshot (green door): Cherie Lawley Photography Standing (with hair up, presentation) photo: Kai Smith Standing with hat: Anthony Cordova

Nominate Someone: ShoutoutAtlanta is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.