Meet Gilly Kahn | Clinical Psychologist, Writer, and Mother

We had the good fortune of connecting with Gilly Kahn and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Gilly, what do you want people to remember about you?
This is a scary question because, when you really think about it, our existence can be so fleeting. Chances are that eventually I will be forgotten. I think what’s more important is the message we relay when we are alive, along with the personal growth we encourage in others.

Because if I can help 1, 2, 3—100–people in therapy, that influence will inherently bleed into future generations.

I appreciate and find it promising that writing can stand the test of time. Here we are, regularly assigning books from the 1800s, for high schoolers’ summer reading. There’s something more permanent about writing.

I hope the main message I can send through the generations is that it’s okay to speak up. I used to (and actually still) tell my husband and friends not to tell restaurant staff to sing to me on my birthday because I “wouldn’t want to make a spectacle.” If I could, I would honestly live under a rock. So, I get not wanting to make a splash.

But one important lesson I’ve learned is that, if everyone was in hiding, if no one said anything, there wouldn’t be books. There wouldn’t be change. And I want that message to be loud and clear on the cover of my book (“Allow Me to Interrupt”).

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
I’m a clinical psychologist and a writer. I see clients for individual therapy in Atlanta, Georgia, but I can also see people virtually who are out of state (in PSYPACT-participating states). Most of my clients are neurodivergent (autistic and/or ADHD) teens. I also see children and adults. In addition to neurodiversity, I specialize in treating anxiety and depression, and emotion dysregulation more broadly. I like to use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Social Skills Training (SST), and Organizational Skills Training (OST), along with various other therapy modalities with my clients.

Since I was very young (about middle school), I’ve loved creative writing. I used to write packets of stories for fun. I remember how excited I felt when my 9th grade English teacher told us we could get extra credit for turning in creative writing pieces. I doubt she expected the literal novels I slapped onto her desk before impatiently awaiting her feedback. She probably never got through everything, honestly.

Because I loved writing so much, I couldn’t not study creative writing in college. I ended up double majoring in Psychology and Creative Writing. I loved psychology too, and I recognized that relying on only being a writer as a career-choice could be risky. So I decided to study both, and I’m really happy I did.

I’ve learned that it’s better not to put all of your eggs in one basket. Gaining expertise in two things can make you stand out more than just focusing on one thing. I also strongly believe I would have gone nuts if I just did one thing. I love the variety in my life.

Now, I’m juggling seeing therapy clients while writing my debut novel with the working title of, Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD. I’m loving the melding of memoir, self-help, and academia/psychology. From what I’ve read, there’s a need for that kind of work, especially focusing on ADHD in females.

Was it easy to get here? Not at all. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t enjoyable though. The most important part of choosing a career (or careers) is loving what you do. I love writing and I love being a psychologist. I love every day that I do each of those things. Of course, there are disappointments that come up. Just like in any relationship, there will be periods when you’ll feel like you’ll need a break. And that’s okay. Progress is not linear.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Honestly, I moved to Atlanta in the midst of Covid-19, so I didn’t really get the chance to explore a whole lot of it. I grew up in Miami, Florida, so (unfortunately) I’m more familiar with Miami (in case you can’t tell, I like Atlanta more, hah).

But of the places I have explored in Georgia so far, I’ve really loved visiting Serenbe and going horseback riding. I just love seeing the horses and the greenery, even (or especially) when it’s raining.

I think the trees are what make Georgia so incredibly beautiful. I love the trees and the wildlife– like, when a deer just waltzes into our neighborhood and chills on my neighbor’s lawn.

I like going to parks (walking in Piedmont Park is nice). I’m not a big foodie, but I would obviously take them to try some southern food.

City-wise, I would take them on the ferris wheel. I also love the light shows and watching the ice skating in the winter, especially when I am with my kids.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Amalia Hirsch Karlin, my best friend.

Here’s the truth (well, the first part at least): I already wrote this section once. I spent a lot of time on it, and it was really beautiful.

Here’s the second part: I told myself I needed to back up my work. Then decided to leave that up to fate, and well… here we are on Draft #2.

Amalia’s one of those people who can take a serious situation and turn it into a joke. This is something I love about her.

In elementary school, she made me a construction paper birthday card. She divided it evenly into four colorful squares. Each square contained a different statement:

Square #1: After I made a beautiful card for you on my computer…
Square #2: a robber decided to break into my house and steal my computer…
Square #3: So I made you this construction paper card instead…
Square #4: Happy birthday!

Working hard on something and then losing it stinks. Sound familiar?

Amalia taught me how to just roll with life instead of fighting against it. She also taught me how to laugh at myself and how to talk about things everyone else refuses to talk about.

In gradeschool, Amalia wore her hair in a slicked back low ponytail. Sort of like how old men with thinning gray hair would wear it. The girls made fun of her for it. Instead of getting upset or feeling embarrassed, Amalia used to laugh along. She almost made it seem like she was the one who originally said the joke.

Here’s one thing I’ve learned over the years: To live a happy life, you really don’t need a whole bunch of friends. What matters most is the quality of your friendships. And I would trade a million half-a** friendships for a friendship with Amalia. I’m lucky to have had her in my life since I was 5, around the time I lost my mother to breast cancer. And I was there for Amalia when she lost her father. She has this way of making everything seem easy, even though life is not.

Professionally, Amalia is a licensed dietician and she supports individuals who have an ostomy. Honestly, this is a subject that is so rarely talked about, spellcheck tried to change the word “ostomy” to “stony” 5 times before it finally caved and allowed me to write it.

Amalia saw a need to be there for others and to break through taboo, and she went there. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her. Even before she was an amazing mom, she was an inspiration to me.

Website: https://www.drgillykahn.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgillykahn/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gilly-kahn-m-a-ph-d-1996892b4/

Other: ADDitude Magazine Author Page: https://www.additudemag.com/author/gilly-kahn-ph-d/

Psychology Today Page: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/gilly-kahn-atlanta-ga/1273562

Image Credits
Paige Brigman of One Love Photography