Meet Cate Osborn | Educator, Advocate & Content Creator

We had the good fortune of connecting with Cate Osborn and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Cate, we’d love to hear about how you approach risk and risk-taking
Many of my friends have joked that I will die doing something absolutely stupid because I think it will make for a funny story later, and that’s honestly probably quite true.

I love risk.

Every interesting thing I have ever done involved risk. I have been a blacksmith and a professional magician, I have moved across the country to pursue two masters’ degrees in Shakespeare, I moved across the country *again* to run the Georgia Renaissance festival, and each time, I learned invaluable skills that sent me further down the path I’m on today.

It’s a huge risk to look at the comfort and security of a 9-5 job and say “no, I’d rather play Dungeons and Dragons and teach people about sex on the internet for my job”, but that’s exactly what I did.

Over the past three years, I jumped in, heads first, to start talking about stuff that I couldn’t find anyone else talking about, to explain uncomfortable topics around intimacy and relationships, to open up conversations about mental health, and to destigmatize the shame and guilt I felt for so long as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person who constantly felt like I was fighting my brain, instead of working with it.

All of that took risk. Not everyone on the internet is nice, not everyone on the internet understands the needs for these conversations, but something like 400 million views later, I’m grateful every day that I took that risk, because it led me to exactly where I am now.

Every day I risk being mocked and harassed and made fun of online for talking about these topics, and honestly, every day, it happens. I get hate mail, I get threats, I get dismissed as “just a dumb influencer”, but every day, I also get messages from people thanking me for my work, letting me know that my work means something to them, that they learned something about themselves or their partner, and to me, that risk of vulnerability is so worth it when I hear their stories.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
I am a full -time content creator and certified sex educator who specializes in talking about neurodivergency, particularly ADHD, and its impact on relationships, intimacy and sex. That’s 50% of what I do- the other 50% is based on my background as an improvisor and performer- I am active in TTRPGs (table top role playing games like dungeons and dragons), where I also use my platform and my knowledge to talk about making gaming more accessible for neurodivergent and disabled individuals.

What I am most proud of is that I built brand and a platform and a following purely from being myself, often against every rule of how you’re “supposed” to make content. Platforms like TikTok and Youtube love to niche creators- you’re the “adhd lady”, or the “ttrpg guy”, but building an audience that combines both often means that you lose views and support from the algorithm because they just…don’t know what to do with you.

For me, not only do I talk about ADHD and TTRPGs, but I’m also deeply passionate about Shakespeare and magic and costume design and history and random deep dives on interesting subjects- my content makes no sense to the robots running the internet, and THAT is why, I think, I stand out.

I have been so fortunate to find ‘people like me who like me’. For my audience, the majority of who have ADHD, they understand that sometimes, you’re really into Shakespeare, sometimes, you’re really into knitting or crochet or whatever, and we just want to share that excitement. It’s less about sticking to a topic, but more about sticking to who we are as people: at the very bottom of everything, is that we’re curious. We’re curious to know why we are the way we are, why our brains work the way they do, why things work and function and exist as they do, and that is what is at the core of my brand and my content.

I wouldn’t say it’s easy- I talk about sex on the internet in a culture that still, despite so much progress, often ascribes shame and suspicion to these discussions, or simply doesn’t see the need, and I try to fight back against that with kindness, education and compassion, but it’s often frustrating to have to fight against the very platforms that allow me to do my job in order to educate. I also often get dismissed for my work in disability advocacy- talking about accessibility in gaming seems very silly to a lot of people: “why do you need that”, “stop being so sensitive”, “maybe you just shouldn’t play”, but I’ve seen a huge amount of support from major brands who are interested in having these conversations, so it’s been gratifying to know that my work is being seen and appreciated in those spaces.

I also had to learn how to BE a creator. It’s a very different type of job than a normal 9-5. My office is on my phone, and so wherever I am with my phone, I feel an immense pressure to make more, create more, answer emails, respond to messages- whatever. My first year as a creator after I hit a million followers, I had a profound period of depression and burn-out because I had to learn the hard way that despite the feeling that you’ll give left behind or forgotten about if you don’t tweet for a day or post a video four times a day, my mental health and family had to be a priority. Even more than that, being a creator isn’t just randomly throwing up my phone and making a video, it’s like ten jobs in one. It’s video editing and sound design and lighting design and marketing and graphic design and PR and publicity and administrative email work and scheduling and doing interviews and appearances and conventions and, in my unique position, doing an immense amount of scholarly, academic research before I even touch my phone. But people hear “content creator” and they assume I’m making millions on doing little dances or something, and that’s just …not at all how it works.

I went to college and grad school for theatre, but nobody really prepares you for literal, actual fame. I don’t say that to brag, I say that because I get recognized at the grocery store and at at Target and a LOT at conventions. I have to think about what I do and say and how it might be interpreted. I once ruined an Etsy seller’s week because I thought shouting her out would be a great way to support small businesses, instead I inadvertently sent 500,000 people to her shop that had enough stock for about 500. I had to learn how to navigate being a ‘public figure’. People cosplay as characters I originate in DnD games. People send me fan art, people send me gifts, people send me letters telling me that I saved their lives– it’s incredible, to have that kind of impact, but it’s also a different way of existing. I am much more thoughtful about what I do, what I say, what I wear now, because I want people to have a good experience, I want people to feel seen and valued by my actions. Sometimes that means standing in my pajamas at a gas station and holding someone while they cry. It’s happened.

I’ve learned a lot, both technically, but also just about myself as a person. I’ve had to readjust and re-prioritize, but from that, I’ve had an incredible opportunity to reach literally hundreds of millions of people, to teach them and educate them and make them feel like they’re not alone, and that to me is such a profound, sacred gift, I cannot even begin to explain how meaningful this work is, despite the exhaustion and burn out. I’m very, very lucky.

I’ve gone from making silly tiktoks to being a keynote speaker, from barely knowing how to edit videos to traveling across the country to speak at various businesses and colleges about making things better for neurodivergent employees, gone from doubting my skills as an actor and improvisor to appearing mainstage at conventions like dragoncon and gencon as a featured guest, from feeling like I couldn’t possibly have anything smart to say to having a major book deal. It’s absolutely surreal, it’s absolutely wild, and I’d been an incredible adventure every step of the way.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Welcome to Atlanta!

You first stop is going to be at my favorite brunch spot in town, Petite Chou in Cabbagetown. Their waffles will change your life.

From there, we’re going to visit the Aquarium to see the whale sharks (the rest is hit or miss for me, but I could spend hours in the whale shark room)

I’m also a huge fan of the Atlanta Symphony, so if they’re playing, that’s definitely on the list, and bonus points if we can stop by the High art museum on the way.

Obviously, we’ll need to hit up Little Five Points, and if we’re lucky, there will be a GVG pop-up market, featuring some of the best local creators and curators from around the Southeast. I’ll make sure to point out Wilde Autumn Apothecary, who not only makes incredible bath and body products, but also curates amazing vintage clothes at RIDICULOUSLY good prices.

We’ll definitely need to hit up Deer and the Dove for dinner at some point, and also Krog Market.

We might grab afternoon coffee at Circa, which is a bit outside the city but it’s connected to a curated antique store and the baristas will always give your dog a pet (and a pup cup) on their patio.

I love a sexy bookstore date, so I’ll definitely have to take you to Charis Books & More –they’re the oldest independent feminist bookstore in the South and one of the oldest bookstores in the Atlanta area and just an incredibly welcoming, generous space. I was lucky enough to attend Mercury Stardust’s book signing there, (and low-key I’m hoping I can have a signing there too next year!!)

If you’re still in town (and we can get reservations), we’re going to Gunshow, which is one of my favorite dining experiences in the city. I might also take you to Amore E Amore but not explain what’s going on and watch you be absolutely baffled by their theme nights, like I was the first time I went, now I’m a huge fan.

For drinks, I”m going to take you to JoJo’s Beloved or PuttShack, because minigolf is delightful. I might also bring you up to Lucian, my favorite wine-bar-meets-library.

Then we’ll sleep because that’s a lot to do in one day.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
The two most important people in my life are also my parners: my husband, Chris, and my partner, Erik.

Chris was wholeheartedly enthusiastic and encouraged me to continue pursuing content creation, and he has been there every step of the way. He has patiently supported me not only through my diagnosis of ADHD, but also through the lifechanging whirlwind that is going from just some random person making TikToks to a person being interviewed by the BBC and the New York Times on a regular basis. That’s WEIRD, and it’s not the life he signed up for, but it is a life that he has embraced and supported without hesitation. He has fearlessly worked with me to work through the challenges and difficulties my work causes, and I am grateful every day that I am loved by someone as compassionate, kind, patient and understanding as he is.

My partner, Erik is my podcast host and co-creator, and together, we built Infinite Quest Network which has allowed us the opportunity to travel the world to talk about neurodivergency and disability. He is the rational, calm balance to my anxiety-ridden need to constantly work, and his outlook on life and the way he teaches and explains has not only made me a better educator and creator, but also taught me so much about myself and how necessary it is to recognize and accept not only my weaknesses, but my passions and my strengths.

Lastly, my assistant Jenn. I was so hesitant to get an assistant because I thought it made me “unrelatable” or somehow less authentic, but in all honesty, Jenn is an accommodation for my disability and how I manage the massive platform I’ve built with a neurodivergence. She is the organizer of my chaos, my strategist and genuinely one of the most creative and driven people I’ve ever met. I don’t think I ever would have gotten as far without her help, and I am just overwhelmed with gratitude for the assistance she provides every day.

Website: www.catieosaurus.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cate-osborn-572080227/

Twitter: @catieosaurus

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100067163132100

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/catieosaurus

Other: Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@catieosaurus

Image Credits
Raven Shutley Photography JWoodberry Boudoir KP11 Studios